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A local pedestrian and proud fast walker has had his pride shattered after pulling off a clean takeover of five slow walkers, only to be put in his place by the forced stop of a red man light and the catching up of the five he overtook, meeting him at the lights.
The incident took place this morning when Jordan Wilson (25) was on his usual walk to work.
“I’ve always been a fast walker. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a kick out of passive-aggressively overtaking people on the footpath.”
The 25 year old says yesterday’s walk was no different from his usual walk to work.
“It was like any other morning—overtake a few tourists, maybe an old lady or two.
Really remind them who’s the fast and mobile one in this city.”
“It was all going so well. I had already overtaken two couples and even dropped some subtle shakes of the head to show them I’m really getting fed up with these out-of-town slow walkers.”
“I could see a mum with a pram up ahead.”
“It was all going so great until… well, until everything fell apart.”
Only moments after overtaking a mum with a pram, Jordan was met with the kryptonite of any passive-aggressive fast walker: the red man at a pedestrian crossing.
“It hit me like a ton of bricks.
There wasn’t even a gap in the traffic for me to cross. I just had to sit in the shame.”
As Jordan stood there waiting for the red man to turn green, he was dealt blow after blow to his ego as, one by one, everyone he had cockily overtaken moments before calmly caught up to him.
More to come.
