ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has taken his campaign to the streets of Betoota Heights today, joining the local marching band in a bid to shore up support in the highly marginal seat of Maranoa. The seat, held by Nationals MP David Littleproud, is under pressure from a strong independent Climate 200 campaign led by Geoffrey, a 15-year-old zebra from the Royal Betoota Zoo.
Armed with a dog whistle, Dutton marched alongside the band, pausing at intervals to deliver remarks designed to resonate with his core supporters.
“It’s a relief to see that the people torching synagogues in Sydney weren’t real Australians,” he said, carefully holding his note on the whistle.
“Turns out they were Turkish or Syrian or whatever. It’s all the same, really. One of Paul Keating’s great gifts to the nation.”
The Opposition Leader also addressed beach safety during the performance, claiming Australians are unfairly blamed for drowning statistics.
“Let’s be honest,” he said, tapping the whistle against his palm.
“Australians don’t drown at the beach. It’s mostly tourists wearing jeans in the surf, and that skews the numbers.”
Dutton’s musical interjections were interspersed with thinly veiled nods to food security.
“We need to ask why our kids are eating falafels in the tuckshop instead of meat pies,” he said, before resuming his role in the parade.
More to come.
