ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s optics advisor was reportedly pushed to the brink today after Albo casually floated the idea of buying a 2023 Porsche 911 Turbo GT3RS in Acid Green during a brief break between meetings.
The question came out of nowhere.
“What do you, uh, reckon about me getting one of those, uh, new Porsche GT3RS things?” Albo asked, sipping his flat white as he scrolled through a car review on his personal MacBook Air.
“Acid Green. Pretty slick, huh? Could do two bucks fifty in the tunnel no worries in that thing, eh?”
The advisor, who had just settled into a chair with a stack of policy briefs, froze.
“You can’t be serious,” he said.
Albo shrugged, clearly enjoying himself.
“I mean, I’m not saying tomorrow, but you know, uh, maybe soon. I’m a car guy. I had a pretty mad, uh, Camry until that Range Rover-driving idiot crashed into me. Nearly killed me he did.”
The advisor set the briefs aside and leaned forward, visibly stressed.
“The harm, Prime Minister, is the front-page photo of you doing 250 through the Sydney Harbour Tunnel in a half-million-dollar Porsche while half the country is choosing between rent and groceries. That’s the harm.”
Unfazed, Albo grinned.
“Yeah, but look at it. It’s aerodynamic. Carbon fibre, mate. Good for the planet, not so good for the hip pocket, though.”
“Yeah, and so is the pitchfork that’ll end up at The Lodge gates if you buy one,” the advisor shot back.
“Seriously, you can’t do this. You’ve got a perfectly fine BMW that you don’t even have to pay for. Stick with that until retirement. Then you can go full Acid Green in peace.”
Albo sighed, spinning his MacBook around to show another angle of the car.
“You don’t think I’d look good in this?”
“Not until you’re out of office,” the advisor deadpanned.
“And I’m back at McKinsey.”
More to come.
