STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
TBH: A quiet Saturday night girls dinner at Betoota’s local Japanese joint took a dramatic turn last night when local girl Samatha Jones, 27, casually requested permission to unleash chaos.
“What I’m about to say might sound mean,” Samatha prefaced, as the table instinctively gripped their Cosmos with the intensity of Game of Thrones characters preparing for battle.
Sources confirm that while the comment was technically aimed at “a random influencer who won’t stop posting cringe performative ‘couple goals’ reels on her social media,” the fallout was anything but random.
Within moments, the table had devolved into a gladiatorial arena. Carrie declared Samatha’s statement a “classic projection,” while Miranda countered with receipts about Carrie’s questionable ex. Even Charlotte, usually Switzerland incarnate, joined the fray with an unprompted critique of Carrie’s shopping addiction.
By dessert, friendships were allegedly “on the brink,” though the tiramisu reportedly helped smooth tensions.
“It’s always the quiet ones,” muttered a waiter who witnessed the carnage. As for Samatha? She’s predicting a reconciliation brunch within 48 hours, as per group tradition.
More to come.
