ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As Parliament resumes in Canberra, voters are beginning to get a closer look at what the major parties are going to be offering as a March election looms in the near future.
One of the more interesting proposals tabled today in the House of Representatives by Opposition leader Peter Dutton was one that would see the Timor Sea, a bit of saltwater between Western Australia and East Timor, renamed after a popular mining company.
Under the proposal, the Timor Sea would become “Hancock Prospecting Presents: The Darwin Straits” in an apparent nod to billionaire Gina Rinehart, one of the nation’s most generous philanthropists and heaviest breathers, and the eponymous company that helped build a nation.
Dutton explained to his cross chamber colleagues that Timor is no longer a place and the name has become redundant.
“East Timor is a young country and while it lays claim to parts of the sea, they are poor and weak so their claim is largely irrelevant,” Dutton said.
“The Liberal Party has a policy of updating place names to suit our modern identity as a nation. In addition to the Timor Sea, it’s understood that our country cousins in the Nationals would like to see New Zealand renamed ‘Cum Land’ and have already began drafting legislation that they will introduce on the 11th of March, Adam Bandt’s birthday,”
“Various other proposals we could attach to the Timor Sea policy moving forward are renaming Melbourne ‘New New Delhi’ and Sydney to “洗钱镇”. It’s exciting to dream what the possibilities are.”
The Advocate reached out to the Office of the Prime Minister for comment but have yet to receive a reply.
More to come.
