ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man has today issued a blistering condemnation of the extreme heat currently gripping large parts of Australia as temperatures continue to soar well above 40 degrees.
Betoota Heights truck salesman Steve Holloway made the statement outside a Vietnamese restaurant in he French Quarter this afternoon, where he had just finished a pumping a Bahn Mi and a few springies that left him visibly drenched in sweat.
“This is unliveable,” he our reporter.
“I’m on me second shirt of the day and it’s not even lunch yet. Customers were complaining they could see my nipples.”
The heatwave, which has stretched from Queensland to South Australia, has been described by the Bureau of Meteorology as “severe and persistent” though locals like Holloway argue that official forecasts fail to capture the full impact.
“They reckon it’s 39, but that’s in the shade,” he said.
“Try standing in the sun. It’s like opening an oven, except you’re inside the oven.”
While some residents have attempted to mitigate the conditions with air conditioning and cold drinks, Holloway says traditional coping mechanisms have been largely ineffective.
“The air con’s struggling, fans just push hot air around, and sleeping is impossible,” he said.
“I woke up at 3 AM just lying there like a steamed ham.”
Authorities have urged residents to stay hydrated and avoid prolonged exposure to the sun, but Holloway believes this advice does little to address the real issue.
“What are we meant to do, just live like this?” he asked.
“No. Someone needs to sort this out.”
At the time of publication, Holloway had relocated to a mate’s house, where he planned to sit in a plastic pool with a six-pack and monitor the situation closely.
More to come.
