WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The man hoping to ride a surging wave of cheap populism to the highest job in the country, has finished the week with another bold pitch.
Temu Trump, or Peter Dutton as he’s also known, has revealed an incredible ploy to claim the nation of Timor-Leste in the name of Australia.
Under the shocking policy, Australia would level Timor-Leste (East Timor) and turn it into the ‘Riviera of the Pacific.’
The mind-bending announcement (that is at similar feasibility levels to his nuclear plan), follows in the footsteps of Donald Trump offering to take over Gaza and turn it into ‘the Riviera of The Middle East.’
Trump’s move would see the people of Gaza permanently expelled and the United States take over the administration of the region.
That hare-brained idea way of thinking has now filtered into the Australian political sphere, with Temu Trump planning on taking over Timor-Leste and turning it into a real estate and resource gold mine.
“Look it’s actually a better option than Trump’s plan with Gaza.”
“Because not only do the Timorese have great coast line, but they have FUCK loads of resources,” said the Opposition Leader of a nation that bugged Timorese political leader’s offices to manipulate negotiations about resources.
“And given our history of letting the Indonesians commit atrocities in the region for nearly half a century because they allowed large Western Corporations to pillage their country and their occupied territories – we know we’ll be able to work with Jakarta on this.”
“Think of it as the new Bali, but one that you won’t even bother having to confront the local’s poverty.”
When asked for more details on how exactly this was going to happen, Temu Trump told us more details are to come.
No more to come.
