TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT
As the sun goes down over the mighty brown snake, a once warm day is usurped by a chilling night – well, for chilly for Brisbane anyway.
Brisbane residents were in an absolutely panic tonight as their thermometers dipped below 25 degrees Celsius.
Reports from the northern capital indicate that residents were running to their doomsday bunkers to dust off the mushroom heaters they bought in preparation for such an event.
“I knew this day would come” said one frost bitten Brisbanite.
“Quick, get nearer to the heater, or you’ll freeze to death” he added.
It’s understood that similar scenes are taking place across the city, with some residents even bringing out the goose down puffer vests they bought from Kathmandu 3 seasons ago.
One resident in particular took this abnormal temperature as an opportunity to further his very contentious views around climate change to anyone who would listen.
“Global warming! What are those science quacks on about? It’s bloody freezing here! How can you say it’s global warming when it’s cold?”
Contraire to the opinions of this man, his fellow citizens were at absolute panic stations. Albion Bunnings reported that their gas and electronic heating section had been completely cleaned out, with their Pink Bats looking like they’re next in line.
“I don’t know what’ll be next. People are getting so desperate; those bats make you so itchy man. God help us all.”
More to come.
