CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Just over a month ago city worker, Claire Oakden, kicked up quite a stink in the office around the negative health problems associated with sitting desks, so much so that HR felt obliged to buy her a standing desk.

Now, a mere month after Claire’s ‘sitting is the new smoking’ tirade, cracks are starting to appear in her holier-than-thou demeanour.

“Oh no, I love my standing desk. I am the only one taking their health seriously here” she said while cracking open an energy drink at 8am.

However, sources close to the Advocate can reveal that Claire has in fact been spotted sitting down around the office for long periods of time. When questioned about this by our reporter, Claire vehemently denied it.

“What? No! Sitting? Oh, I must have been in a meeting, I sit in those because it would be weird if I was standing while they weren’t, you know?”

“No, I definitely wasn’t sitting, I stand, I am better than everyone else that is all”.

Unfortunately for Claire, our sources have photographic evidence of her cheating the standing desk system.

One co-worker snapped a photo of Claire kneeling on a stool while still at her standing desk, it’s understood that she positioned the stool in the precise position it needed to be to give the impression that she is still standing.

Despite being shown these photos, Claire is still denying it. After doing some further digging, the Advocate can confirm that she is a Taurus, which explains why she’s being so stubborn and unreasonable.

 

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