ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As the gentle guitar strums in the intro to Tom Petty’s 1991 classic, Learning to Fly, guide Glenn Jordan down the supermarket aisles this afternoon, it’s clear to him that he needs to do some learning of his own.
Speaking exclusively to The Advocate today, the 34-year-old said he needs to learn how to love himself again – after his life partner of seven years, Daphne O’Peachman, walked out on him earlier this month for someone much more successful and better looking than he is.
But, he said, at the moment his priorities are elsewhere.
This afternoon in Coles South Betoota, he’s trying to see the silver lining in the little things.
Our reporter joined him for a few laps around the cold produce and pasta sections, stopping for a deep and meaningful chat beside the cooking oil selections.
“Get a load of this. $27 a litre for that Cold Pressed Extra Virgin Organic Olive Oil. You’d think you were buying a jug of Russian Imperial Stout at your local craft brewery,” he said, trying just a bit too hard to make our reporter laugh.
Our reporter laughed and agreed regardless.
“This is the shit you want. Black & Gold Vegetable Oil. Cheaper than a night at the Phuket Crab Races. Mate, I’m telling you. There’s fuck all difference between this stuff and the shit they pump out of the Earth’s crust to make diesel and styrofoam out of. Dollar and a half for 600mL. Can’t walk past it.”
But with a bit of needless prodding, The Advocate could tell that deep down, the professionally-uninspiring Virgo would rather be taking out a second mortgage to buy the good oil.
“Daph[ne] used to put that fancy oil on her salads she used to pack for lunch,” he said, holding a bottle of the fancy oil in his left hand, next to the vegetable variety in his right.
“She used to say it had a multitude of uses. From frying to dressings to shotting it on a dare at a kick-on. Hope that new fuckwit in her life knows how much she likes it,”
“Honestly, my life is better now. I’ve got more time to hang out with my friends. Things are chugging along just fine and dandy.”
More to come.
