ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A pack-a-week city working smoker down in the nation’s most livable kiln has reaffirmed his dedication to the nicotine arts by popping outside today for a quick post-lunch cigarette.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate via his favourite end-to-end encrypted messenger service, Hunter Conurra said the commute to work was bad enough but now that the sun is at its highest, his desire to feed his lungs is falling by the wayside.

“But I went out anyway,” he said.

“You’d understand if you were a dart hound like me, you just can’t concentrate. I thought about having one in the fire escape but if I se the alarm off and sent everyone in the block out onto the street, I’d become very unpopular very quickly,”

“So, with the sun beating down upon my face, John Player and I did our little dance and I quickly poured myself back into the air-conditioned comfort of the lobby. You can’t say I’m not dedicated!”

In fact, our reporter was able to confirm that Mr Conurra is the most dedicated smoker in Melbourne right now as temperatures nudge a typical summers morning in our Channel Country.

However, when our reporter spoke to some man at the Melbourne City Council, he wasn’t able to understand his accent – but the gist was there.

More to come.

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