EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
After a hard week of unpaid labour, intern Willie Mehan was pretty keen to get stuck into a much-deserved beer or, like, fuckloads of them.
Reporting that he’d spied a a few rows of icy Coronas in the fridge, Will had completed his work and was counting down the minutes until the knock off mark.
When 4 pm came and went, and nobody had moved, Will says he was left feeling pretty impatient.
“Apparently they have knock-off drinks every Friday,” says Will, “but nobody got up from their desk.”
Now scanning every office door for signs of life, Will had entered into a high alert mode for any noise or signs of movement. He reports that he almost fell out of his chair in excitement when the account manager finally got up, but soon realised he was going to the bathroom instead.
“The admin lady even knocked on all the doors to let them all know!”, said Will.
“Why would you keep working?”
“Don’t they realise it’s FREE?”
As a financially-crippled young man trying to shmooze his way into a white collar job by working for free, Willie doesn’t have any form of a disposable income.
In fact, he’s got fuck all going on. He needs to crush as many of these beers as he can before leaving work to link up with his mates in someones garage to smoke cones and play drinking games.
But nobody is helping him out this Friday arvo.
The scenario continued to escalate as a member of staff laid out an antipasto platter, which included an array of artisanal meats and very expensive cheese.
Will reveals that other than popping a cheeky olive, the staff member had returned to their desk without so much as a napkin stuffed with food.
“I hadn’t eaten lunch so I was really hangry. I wanted to make the first move but I thought it’d look bad as I’d only just started.”
“But when 5 pm rolled around I seriously considered it.”
Eventually, a member from the marketing team got stuck into a glass of rosé, which prompted the entire office to promptly drop what they were doing and stampede towards the kitchen. As he rushed to the fridge to grab a drink and snap up the last piece of prosciutto, Will says he experienced an epiphany.
“I reckon work life is no different to school really,” says Will.
“It was just like handing in a test. Everyone was just waiting for someone else to do it.”
“Anyway. I’m gonna get so maggot tonight haha”
