ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has labelled Norweigan energy company, Equinor, a ‘bunch of cowards’ after the conglomerate decided not to drill for oil in the Great Australian Bight.
Equinor revealed today via a press release that they ‘no longer considered’ drilling for oil in one of the nation’s great natural wonders to be ‘commercially viable’.
The Advocate spoke briefly to Equinor’s head of exploration about the decision, who then went on to explain that some of the group’s other energy solutions moving forward are better suited to the needs of their customers.
“It’s plain and simple,” said Eqinor’s Lars Christensen, who took time out of his busy evening of sleeping and drinking cold beer to talk to our reporter via telephone from the company’s headquarters in Stavanger, Norway.
“Drilling for oil in your Bight would’ve cost more money than we would’ve got for selling it. It would’ve been bad for business, commercially unviable.”
When asked if protests from environmental groups had any bearing on their decision not to proceed with the project, Mr Christensen said ‘absolutely not’.
“We still harvest whales from the ocean, Norway’s fabled ‘sovereign fund’ still invests heavily in fossil fuels and weapons of war. This was a commercial decision first and foremost.”
However, Scotty From Marketing is not having it.
Today in parliament, Scott lashed Equinor’s decision to pull out of the Bight, telling the house he thought the decision reflected poorly on the company.
“What a bunch of greenie softcocks!” he said of the world’s eleventh largest oil and gas company.
“What a bunch of cowards! What about all the jobs that could’ve created? All the royalties the Australian taxpayer would’ve benefited from! This sets a deadly precedent for energy prices in this country,”
“You watch! Power prices and cost-of-living will skyrocket now that Equinor has decided to bow to a bunch of Yahoo Serious-looking fuckheads with boogie boards tucked under their arms!”
Leader of the Opposition, Anthony Albanese, has welcomed the decision but failed to elaborate on why he welcomed it.
More to come.
