FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In a blow for the scientific community, a prominent anti-vaxxer has announced that she has not been affected by Coronavirus, despite not being vaccinated for it since she was born in 1978.
Janet Black, who now goes by the name of Destiny Aquarius, is a proud anti-vaccination advocate, as were the rest of her family, most of which now live in small jars on a bookshelf.
“I don’t know why everyone is so scared about this virus, it can’t hurt you because your body has it’s own immunity; that’s why nobody ever gets the flu,” she said, confidently.
“But you know what can hurt you? Chemicals. The ones with big names are the worst. I learned recently that some food now has Sodium Chloride in it instead of salt so I’m always careful to check the packaging, just in case.”
So keen was Destiny to prove her position that Coronavirus is just a marketing gimmick by Big Pharma and Big Facemask, she was ready to jump on a flight to China and start kissing random strangers until fate intervened.
“I was on my way to the airport when someone pulled out in front of me and I ran into them. The damage to the car wasn’t too bad, but the airbag broke my nose because I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt as they are just a scam run by Big Seatbelt. Anyway, the paramedics arrived to fix my face up and they couldn’t believe I was travelling to China with no vaccinations to show that vaccinations are not necessary.”
