ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
One of our town’s most violent people will now have to find somewhere else to buy his jeans today after Dutch denim giant G-Star Raw failed to find a buyer for their Australian businesses and will close their doors forever.
Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Mark Hellerberg said he just loved the way G-Stars felt – but most of all, he loved the appearance.
“Fuuuuuuuck,” he said to our female reporter.
“I fucken love G-Star, I’m fucken gutted they’re closing. Where the fuck am I gunna get my jeans now?”
“You could do everything in G-Stars. Round kicks, double leg takedowns, rear naked chokes, normal chokes, suplexes. Man, you can do shit in Levis without them splitting or ripping. Fuck Wranglers, man. I’m legit gutted, I’m going to go to the pub tonight to fucken have a good time and yell at people I don’t know,”
“I might even bite off more than I can chew leaving then get my legs and arms broken by the bouncers. Fuck yeah, I’m keen. Are you keen?”
Our reporter said they were keen and they both left together in the same Uber.
More to come.
