LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Scenes of blatant disregard for the health and safety of a customer are unfolding in a family owned convenience store in Betoota Heights.
It’s believed a man quickly ducked into the store to pick up an emergency tin of pineapple for pizza he and his stoner mates decided to make.
Even in his altered state though, Trent Smith was able to read the use-by-date on the dusty pineapple tin, which clearly read “USE BY 12 DEC 2006”
“Ah, excuse me mate, d’you have any more pineapple out the back? This went off in 2006” politely asked Trent.
In a seemingly well-rehearsed response, the convenience store owner insisted everything was fine.
“Nah, nah, mate, she’s all good”
“But it clearly says 2006, that was 14 years ago”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, trust me mate, is good. Use by date is not real”
“Are you sure? 14 years is a long time”
“Yeah, here, I throw in a can of condensed milk too”
Unable to think clearly from all the bongs, Trent’s confused little brain was won over by the offer of free condensed milk.
As somewhat of a win, the condensed milk only went off in 2017, which in convenience store years means it’s technically not out of date at all.
It’s not yet known how Trent and his friends’ stomachs reacted to the potentially poisonous food, The Advocate has reached out for a comment but is yet to receive a response.
More to come.
