KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local fuckwit and fade enthusiast has displayed sheer arrogance this afternoon, chucking a tantrum in the face of a barber swallowed by debt.
Brad Oakley, a 29-year old labourer and long rumoured steroid user, decided to publicly vent his frustration at the prospect of waiting more than 10 minutes to have his buzz cut tended to.
Speaking with The Advocate, local barbershop owner Tommy Crew said the huffing snort was way out of line.
“Honestly, as a small business owner who hasn’t seen a dollar in four months, it’s ludicrous that people can’t look into their hearts and find some patience”.
“I’m working 12 hour days at the moment, cos every dipshit who decided to have a go at their own hair with dog trimmers wants to come in to get it fixed.”
“And if I don’t make rent this month the greasy slugs who own my building will probably kick me out of my lease.”
When quizzed about his conduct, the huffing culprit Mr Oakley remained unsure as to why his tone deaf display of childish behaviour wasn’t well-received by the small business community.
“I mean I just want a haircut aye brother haha!”
“Like I know this shop’s been closed for months, but surely in his time off the guy could figure out some kind of app or something…”
“I got shit to do man, like how can you make me wait like this…”
After a short period of standing aimlessly, Mr Oakley decided his time was too precious and he’d prefer to move on.
“Ahhh there’s another shop down the road aye, fuck I’ll give them a go.”
The Advocate is under the assumption Mr Oakley’s face has been put on a criminal poster and is now banned from all barbers in town.
