CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the drums of a Federal Election start beating, One Nation Senator Pauline Hanson has had to make a quick rebrand to save her career as a professional fear-mongerer who exploits the anxieties of everyday Australians to get votes.
With no Asian or Arab immigrants arriving in Australia since the beginning of the pandemic in March last year, Hanson has been struggling to find a political issue quite as scary as IMMIGRATION.
On top of this, the National Party and the Murdoch media has also finally signed up to Net Zero Carbon Emissions by 2050 – which means that the transition to renewable energy.
So with casual racism and climate change denialism no longer on the table – One Nation has had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find a new cause to rally behind.
It seems even Pauline appears ashamed by her new strategy of targeting the less than 2% of Australians who do not want to get a jab because of their ‘sovereign rights’ – or some other shit they saw on YouTube.
A last ditch effort to save her political career has seen One Nation now officially claim the title as Australia’s newest anti-vaxxer party.
“Guess I’ll just become anti-vaxxer?” said Hanson, as she reluctantly throws her support behind the deranged conspiracists who desecrated the Shrine Of Rememberance in Melbourne last month.
“When you think about it? The jab is very similar to Islam”
“It’s scares rednecks quite easily, and I don’t know much about it”
“That’s why I’m making that my number one political issue leading into this election. NO MANDATE!”
Unfortunately for Pauline Hanson, Clive Palmer might already have secured the votes of people who disagree with the global medical community – after rolling out millions of unsolicited text messages to voters right around the country.
Hanson says, if anti-vaxxing doesn’t look like it will carry her through the next election – she’s going to have to find a new cause to talk about on Australia’s breakfast TV programs.
“Maybe I can start talking about the Jews?”
“Or the moon landing…?”
“I dunno. It was so much easier to get people riled up when ISIS still around”
“Actually…”
“Maybe I’ll start talking about the secret underground child trafficking rings.”
“Like, not Catholic Church, but the one the Clintons are involved in”
