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Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing’s entire political career is now under the microscope after claiming he doesn’t believe he has told a lie in public life.
This comes after accusations of duplicity were levelled against him by former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and French President Emannuel Macron.
In the wake of his growing reputation as ‘The Liar From The Shire’ – this morning, Scott Morrison was asked directly by 3AW radio host Neil Mitchell if he had ever told a lie in public life.
“I don’t believe I have, no. No,” Mr Morrison replied.
Even Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has struggled to back this bold claim by Scotty. When asked by reporters in Canberra today if his Prime Minister had ever lied in public life, Mr Joyce conceded he probably had.
By making the extraordinary George Washington-esque claim of having never told a lie this morning, the Prime Minister now has journalists retracing every off-comment he has ever made on public record.
As more and more examples of him blatantly lying to the Australian public come to light, Scotty is now in damage control that the stigma of being a fibber will damage the ‘everyday bloke’ image he works tirelessly to portray.
To counter this reputational damage, Scotty has today called a press conference aimed at humanising himself again.
“I’m not a liar.” he told the media today.
“I’m just your average Aussie bloke”
“I Loves a beer, love a punt, and love some good honest rock music”
When a reporter pressed him to name one non-Hillsong rock group, The PM appeared stuck.
“Um…” said Morrison as he began to panic.
“The one with the dreadlocks”
“And the guitars”
The journalists asked the Prime Minister if he was trying to name the Californian Nu-Metal band KoRn, Scotty said yeah… Sure.
“Can you name one of their songs?” asked another reporter.
“Yeah whats the one with the yelling at the start. I saw them live at Big Day Out. I was in the pit. The 90s were wild man haha”
Unfortunately, like everything that now comes out of the Prime Minister’s mouth, Scotty’s claim to have been front row at the 1999 Big Day Out was immediately fact-checked – with one journo pointing out that the Morrison family were actually living in New Zealand when KoRn headlined the iconic Australian music festival.
“Ahh shit. True.” said Scotty.
“Must’ve been like a side show in Auckland or something”
“Man that song they sing about burning crosses rules”
