ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The fallout from a damning report into The Star has entered a new chapter today with the Sydney casino receiving a record $100m fine for their poor operational conduct.

The Star’s licence to operate its casino will also be suspended from Friday – but due to a number of secret mitigating factors that would probably put a lot of public servants in prison if the details became known – it will still be able to operate for some reason.

In order to put this ordeal behind them, The Star has agreed to pay the fine and move on.

Speaking to the media this morning beside Sydney Harbour, the nation’s largest open-air sewer, a representative from Star explained that the fine will be paid the same way they’re been paid over the years.

“Our corporate fine will be paid in non-sequential, unmarked $20 bills,” they said.

“The cash will be delivered to the NSW Independent Casino Commission in a black and grey Puma sports bag. If we need more than one bag, we will source an appropriate number of them to fulfil our needs. Once again, on behalf of Star Entertainment Group, I’d like to apologise for any wrongdoing,”

“I would also like to apologise to the people of New South Wales. I know in more developed parts of the world, most of the politicians, public servants and executives here at the Star would either be in prison – or executed for their organs which would be then distributed to those in society who are more deserving of them – but luckily we live in Australia where this type of behaviour is tolerated to a certain extent, if not somewhat condoned in corporate circles,”

“We anticipate the fine will be paid this week.”

The Advocate reached out to the NSW Government for comment but has yet to receive a reply.

More to come.

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