LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Another data breach has hit a well known Australian brand as Red Rooster suffers a cyber attack that has stolen the data of their customer customer. 

Founded in 1972, Red Rooster is a functionally extinct fast food restaurant which claims to have served roast chicken to millions of Australians.

Most of those millions are local weirdo Greg Golddick (last name changed) who was repaid for years of loyal Red Rooster patronage by having his data breached in this recent hack.

“Unfortunately, some customer data was stolen, we are not sure which of our customer has his data stolen,” stated Red Rooster spokesperson Linda Hall.

“We’re pretty sure it was Greg data that was stolen so, sorry Greg if you’re watching.”

According to Hall and the board of Craveable Brands, Greg had filled out the lionshare of customer satisfaction surveys Red Rooster has done over the years, the results of which were stolen by hackers.

“Greg’s feedback was very important to us so we are very upset it was stolen.”

“It’s because of him that we keep putting things like pineapple fritters on the menu. He really likes them! Next time you’re watching the ad and thinking ‘who eats that?’, the answer is Greg.”

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