EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A Betoota Ponds tradie has managed to stumble upon a winning dating strategy that both caters to his desire for the female touch, and drastic need for cognitive behaviour therapy, it’s reported.
Speaking to The Advocate, Tim Walton [27] states that he’d come off the back of a pretty bad breakup when he discovered this new coping mechanism, citing that discussing his feelings with multiple sympathetic women has benefitted him greatly – and saved money too!
“Let’s be honest, would you rather talk about your fear of intimacy on some uncomfortable chair in a therapist’s office?”
“Where you’re charged hundreds of dollars for 45 minutes?”
“Or resting your head against boobs for FREE while you have your hair stroked?”
Our reporter asks what his relationship was like with his mother, but is ignored.
“And if you have a few on the go, you can really spread out the issues.”
Scrunching his face as he glances at his phone, Tim says he’s sorry but he might have to cut the interview short.
“…Sorry Effie, lost track of the time.”
“I’ve got to go pick up my ex’s guinea pig.”
“We got him when we lived together but she got custody.”
“I have him for the occasional weekend.”
“I….I really miss that squeaky fucker.”
Our reporter says ‘aww’ and gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
More to come.
