LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A young Liberal hoping to get in some late season shred will have to forget about it for now as his father has summoned him to London for the May 6 coronation of the artist formerly known as Prince Charles.
Carton Charingworth (22) of Betoota Grove is known for being an outspoken member of the Betoota Young Liberals, the fella that takes up two parking spots in his VW Golf and for being one of the most irredeemable and objectively worst people you will ever know.
Having only been to the snow four times in the past 12 months, Charingworth had plans to cash in his parent’s negatively geared frequent flyer points to make a quick trip to the Niseko mountain ranges in Hokkaido, Japan, an area famous for ski fields, cuisine and having more puffer jackets than a chode convention.
However, Charingworth will have to settle for a gloomy week in London as his father Clarinet Charingworth (60) has informed him that’s where he will be considering they are 812th in line for the crown somehow.
“Look, I love the Windsors as much as the next man,” stated young Charingworth, who can easily be identified as a distant royal relative by his ghastly set of chompers.
“But honestly, I’ll just be at the next one in twenty years regardless and who knows how much snow will be left then? Probably not a lot, if you believe such nonsense, which obviously I don’t.”
While Charingworth states he would rather be riding his fuel powered snowboard in Niseko during the coronation, he is looking forward to seeing his toffy British cousins who enjoy hanging around and being posh.
