DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT

What do all corporations really want? This is the question that every good company man worth a pay check asks themselves. Answer: They want YOU. Nay, they need you. Almost as much as you need them.

And it’s nice to feel needed. Ask any decent company man who’d rather choose to meet a project deadline than attend their daughter’s 1st birthday party and you’ll always get the same answer. There’s no better feeling than being needed by the company. It becomes your main source of identity. You are the company more than any human character trait you once knew as a child.

An honest company man is relied on by the company to go the distance every day, week, year, decade, until the company eventually lets you wind down for a planned retirement or – more likely – suddenly retrenches you due to a random cost cutting exercise. You’re told to pack up your stuff and security will escort you off the premises effectively immediately. Don’t make a scene.

Every good company man knows in their heart that after a while it’s impossible to truly know where you as a person starts and where the company as a corporate entity ends. 

But there’s still more you can do for your company. You can become the ultimate company man if you commit even harder to your sole remaining function as labour-for-hire.

You can do it! You’ve just got to work longer hours for the same pay you’re on now.  

That’s what raises you to ultimate company man status. Because this is what the company has really wanted most all along. Slave labour. The company is you. You are it. Your family says you ‘work too much’, they complain that ‘you’re never home’ and that when you are home, you’re ‘still not really here’.

Typical. Your family, your friends, not even your 9 to 5 colleagues understand the sacrifice involved in becoming the ultimate company man.
But you do. So choose to spend even more of your precious, finite time working for the company for the same pay you’re on now, and you will realise your dream of becoming the ultimate company man in next to no time.

Do that and I promise you’ll be rewarded. Not financially but metaphorically. Unless the economy turns in which case you’re fired!

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