DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
Having spent decades grinding out mundane tasks to build up experience in what has become a useless career path, I know firsthand the frustration you feel showing up for work each day.
I know that feeling of wanting to blow up your career and start again. In fact, it’s something I’ve done numerous times, normally via an exciting yet regrettable momentary lapse of judgement that has come back to haunt me.
And now you can too! Here’s some of the stupid ways you can blow up your career:
TAKE A BRIBE – If you work in a job with any sort of responsibility or power, then you can successfully take a bribe to blow up your career for good! Someone out there wants to use you for their benefit, and so will try to buy you off. Bribes can come in the form of money, sex, status or power. In fact, a bribe can be pretty much anything you want it to be. So long as it’s illegal and destroys your integrity, it’s a
bribe you can take.
DRUGS AT WORK – Don’t wait for that next music festival to do a year’s worth of drugs in the course of a single day. Take drugs at work! A couple caps of MDMA as you first arrive, washed down with some magic mushroom tea, you’ll never have a more exciting day at the office. When your boss notices your erratic, awesome behaviour, they’ll no doubt ask you to leave and, more importantly, to never come back.
If that happens, make sure to snort a race horse’s worth of Ketamine on your way out the door. Crawling and sliding along the office walls like a deranged parrot who no longer has any career prospects will be a fond memory you can look back on later.
PASH YOUR BOSS – Pash isn’t a word I’ve used since the 90s. But this is a great option if you not only want to blow up your career but your family life too. So next time you see your boss, whether they’re a man or woman, run up to them and give them a good old fashioned 90s style pash on the mouth and watch as your career falls apart immediately. Remember to use way too much tongue!
While these exciting momentary lapses of judgment take only moments to achieve, they will have consequences that will last a life time. So go on and blow up your career today!
