DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
Feeling like your marriage has become a little humdrum? A little same-same? A touch mundane, a bit boring? Generally all over just, (sigh) errgghh?
You’re not alone. In fact, I’ve read that here in Betoota over 50% of couples report that their marriage feels ‘dead’ or ‘routine’ after only 12 months of being hitched, which is perhaps why Betoota has above the national average rates of divorce by some 25%.
Reading damning statistics like these hurts my heart. I feel it is my duty as the region’s foremost finance guru – who has lots of life experience in the fields of romance – to throw my hat into the marriage counselling ring and support our local lovers put some spice back into their union. Because the best way to spice up your love life just happens to be through your finances.
That’s right, money doesn’t just put food on the table or keep a roof over your head, it can also save your marriage if used correctly.
The trick is to make some outlandishly massive purchases that neither you nor your significant other can afford right now. Only, make them without discussing it with your spouse beforehand.
Do this and you will see a marked increase in the level of heat and spice that you’re currently experiencing in your failing marriage. Blowing all of the money you and your partner have painstakingly saved over a long period of time, without any consultation, will add drama, excitement, and potentially make-up sex into your otherwise lifeless carcass of a union.
Believe me, if you want your spouse to notice you again, and I mean really see you, walk up to them with your shared bank account’s transaction history, and show them how you paid for that new boat that just got delivered to the front of the house.
Watch as their eyes blaze with a newfound spiciness as their arousal peaks at the thought of how very bad you’ve been.
Their righteous anger is the perfect ingredient to give your marriage the kick start it needs to get going again.
So go on, stop worrying about money for a moment and spice up your marriage with some crazy impulse purchases. After all, what could be more important than love?
