ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The skyrocketing cost of a cold schooner at the pub has pushed a growing number of blokes underground, as government excise hikes on alcohol drive beer into the black market.
Following a series of excise increases, which sees men paying some of the highest taxes on piss in the world, local schooner enjoyers have had enough. While black market tobacco has flourished for years, it seems the humble schooner is now the latest victim of government greed.
“We’re paying through the nose for a pint these days,” said French Quarter sole trader Jecksen Sceles, who now sources his frothies through a bloke down the road.
“Last week, I paid $14 for a beer at the pub. Now I’m paying half that for a backyard schooner. Cash only, of course. Or you can pay in Ethereum or Solana, too.”
Illicit venues, from converted garages to backyard bars, have popped up across our cosmopolitan inland port city, offering untaxed schooners at cut-rate prices.
These unlicensed venues have become the go-to for those unwilling to fork out for a beer at licensed pubs. Punters in the know are ducking into sheds and carports, where plastic furniture and makeshift bars serve up schooners for as little as $2, free from the all-seeing eye of the Australian Taxation Office and the dirty lefties at Queensland’s Office of Liquor and Gaming Regulation.
The burden of these alcohol excises isn’t just falling on drinkers. It’s also crippling small breweries across Australia. Many craft beer operations, unable to keep up with the skyrocketing tax bills, are being squeezed out by the big players.
Several beloved microbreweries have collapsed in recent months, with many pointing to the relentless excise increases as the final nail in the coffin.
“Mate, it’s killing small brewers,” Jecksen added.
“All the cool local joints that made craft beer affordable are disappearing. The big dogs can stomach the tax hikes, but these little guys? Not a chance. Plus so many of them are owned by foreign companies that can move money around and dodge tax.”
As authorities scramble to contain the rise of these unlicensed venues, the black market schooner trade is booming. It also doesn’t help that many of the town’s police often frequent the illegal venues after their shift.
