ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local barge arse has picked up the Hyundai Santa Fe he ordered earlier this year in a moment of madness.
Timothy Donaldson, of Greenbrayer Road in Betoota Heights, said he was inspired by the family SUV’s extremely garish and oversized rear end and the similarities he felt it had to his own rear end.
“Especially in a pair of beige chinos,” he said.
“Everyone has a barge arse in a pair of bone-coloured chinos from Gazman or wherever. I couldn’t get a beige Hyundai Santa Fe, which the bloke at Toyota said was ironic because it’s a beige car for beige people, so I got it in Prolapse Brown, which sounded nice,”
“Anyway, it’s been a long time coming. I paid nearly $80 000 for it once it’s on the driveway. That’s a lot of money for a Korean billycart. I hope it’s worth it.”
The 43-year-old self-employed construction manager explained to The Advocate that he also looked at other cars but ultimately decided to go with the Santa Fe for reasons he cannot recall at this time.
“I looked at a new Prado but they told me I’d be waiting for a few years. With an arse like this hanging off me, I might not have that much time. I looked at a Jeep but the bloke talked me out of it pretty much. I asked why the service schedule only went to 100 000km and he just shrugged and said no Jeep has been beyond that so they don’t know,”
“It’s hard to pick. I would’ve been happy with a neat Proton Jumbuck and a tray of Twiggy Sticks but here we are.”
More to come.
