ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
German marque BMW has unveiled next years models this morning at the Betoota Auto Expo which has left many in the wider Diamantina automotive community wondering if this was all part of some ‘candid camera’ type reality TV show.
“Surely not,” said Wade Overell of the Overell Motorgroup, which has exclusive license to sell BMWs in this part of Queensland.
Wade is the first cousin of the editor of this masthead, Dr Clancy Overell AM.
“They’re taking the piss? Surely. There’s no way they’re actually going to try and sell those thing?”
Wade was looking directly down the flared nostrils of a brand new BMW XM. He said he’d heard about it and seen renders but to see it in the flesh, the 46-year-old motoring titan was left feeling a little bit uneasy.
“This will be a tough sell but we’ve been in this position before but Christ on a green bike, it’s like these god damn Bavarians are hellbent on building the ugliest car known to man. Not like their mouth-breathing northern cousins in Stuttgart. They have their own problems,” he continued.
“Going back, we had the Z3? That was an ugly piece of shit. It looked like an upside down cock and balls. Like a goose head on wheels. An utterly ridiculous car, made worse by the fact BMW paid overs for it to be Bond’s car in Tomorrow Never Dies and The World Is Not Enough,”
“Then there was the, uh, the first electric car. The BMW i3. I had one to drive around and my cousin Clancy told everyone I’d left my wife and kids for my male golf coach. That he’d spied with his own eyes that he’d seen me pashing and tugging him off in the passenger seat. Pretty funny but not really when it’s about you and it’s upset your wife,”
“How could I forget the 3-Series Compact with it’s silly little headlights and barge arse? Fuck me, we had to practically give them away. I would’ve pashed and tugged my golf coach to completion if he bought one, it was that dire. Not that I did. I’m just saying. So ugly. Christ, I can see why my mate over the road at Mercedes Benz still has all his hair.”
More to come.
