ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The nation’s directionless youths could be forced to do something constructive with their lives under a new plan proposed by the Albanese Government.
The government is answering calls from the construction industry, who are currently facing a shortfall of 90 000 tradies needed to meet and exceed new housing targets.
Tens of thousands of young Australians each year who haven’t worked their life out yet decide to waste time and treat water by doing an Arts degree. From there, the overwhelming percentage of those graduates end up in bullshit roles in marketing and advertising – or worse, journalism.
These jobs to not help the function of society, they merely exist to peel money away from advertising budgets and transform it into lukewarm outdoor advertising and advertorials in lesser journalistic vehicles like Newcorp’s Betoota Bugle and Nine Entertainment Co’s, The Sydney Morning Herald. In return for that skill, these graduates take half of their $55k plus super salary and give it to their inner city slumlord that’s based in Guangzhou, spend half of what’s left on $14 jugs of Tiger at their local poke-ium den and spend the rest on frozen pizzas and contraception.
That is a source of frustration for the Minister for Housing, Julie Collins, who explained to The Advocate that the nation’s response to the housing crisis needs to be “war-like”.
“We need to be looking domestically in this response, we can’t keep handing out visas to anyone that says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in the visa queue, can we?” said the Minister.
“Arts degrees, moving forward, should only be offered to international students who pay for it. The nation can’t afford for perfectly-healthy young people to get $40k in debt learning about frisbee golf and gender roles in Victorian-era Bangladesh. Kids that are either too dumb or too disadvantaged to get into a real university need to be redirected into learning how to be a plumber or an electrician,”
“Most trades, you could teach a smart dog like a Border Collie to do. We need to respond to this crisis with our full national might. If that means we need to shut down acting ‘houses’, art schools and music colleges then so be it.”
The Advocate reached out to over a dozen local Arts students for comment but as it’s still before noon, none responded in time for our morning deadline.
More to come.
