ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
One of our town’s baldest men has debuted a tasteful backwards cap today in a soft launch before His Majesty The King’s Birthday celebration across Queensland this weekend.
While the lesser, Southern states celebrate the Labour Day long weekend, Queenslanders will take Monday off because The King wants us to. He knows how hard life has been at the moment and he wants his favourite flavour of Australian to take a load off and have some hammock time, according to Buckingham Palace.
That being said, Mawson Oliver of Betoota Heights is attending after work drinks in a few hours after working at home all day. It’s a sunny day here in the Diamantina, so the 34-year-old business success manager at Dropbox picked himself out a tasteful hat to wear.
Only this time, it would be different.
Oliver is renown for having a large head. Friends often comment on how someone with such a volume of grey matter can end up working at somewhere like Dropbox. He also suffers from a problem that many bald men face, which is people being unsure where his face ends and where his barren scalp begins.
“I hope the strap of the hat will clear that up,” Oliver told The Advocate.
“It’s right here.”
He then drew a line with his thumb across his forehead where the hat strap sat, which funnily enough is AUSLAN for ‘understood’.
“I also picked out my LA Raiders hat for the debut. You know, how black is slimming. Perhaps it also works for heads.”
Oliver’s friends have told our reporter that they’re looking forward to his arrival at work drinks this evening.
“He’s one of our best mates, so we’re going to take the piss out of him,” said one mate.
“We’ll ask him why he’s still wearing a hat at night time, he’ll ask us why we aren’t at home with our families. That we’re out drinking with a bunch of junior staff like a bunch of weirdo creeps. We’ll laugh and he’ll laugh. What a country we live in, hey? Silly bald fuck he is!”
More to come.
