EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A groundbreaking piece of research from the CSIRO has this week confirmed that you can not, under any circumstances, trust a bloke with a seedy mo, even if the bloke in question insists that it’s merely ‘ironic.’
This report is said to have been prompted by the buzz surrounding Netflix’s new movie, The Gray Man, which has actor Chris Evans playing the bad guy and sporting a very very seedy looking moustache. And, considering movies have always played into the trope that a man sporting a certain style of facial hair can not be trusted (heralding back the ‘moustache twirling’ villain days), it’s understandable that this idea may have even trickled into real life.
To see more about the groundbreaking findings, watch our hard-hitting investigation into the issue for Betoota Today Tonight:
Taking to the streets, our reporters also did a little bit of digging into the subject and discovered that many people were quick to agree that bad bro mo’s are a no go.
“Oh yeah 100% agree”, said one bloke, “if I’m ever in the smoker’s and I’m looking for some recreational fun, I make a beeline towards anyone sporting a wispy.”
Another passersby states she’d once, ‘dated a guy who had a bit of a hairy caterpillar situation going on’ before he stole her rather distinctive family heirloom and listed it on Facebook marketplace in her area.
“To be honest, seedy mo’s are the face tats of facial hair.”
“Tell you everything you need to know.”
Though our market research was quite small, it can be confirmed that CSIRO’s findings are correct, and if anyone’s mates starts sporting a comb on their upper lip, they should promptly hide all their valuables and their girlfriends.
If you’re on the hunt for a free haircut or new moustache, Netflix’s The Gray Man has a Good Guy Goatees and Bad Bro Mos popup barber shop located at 308 Brunswick St, Fitzroy Melbourne, this weekend only.
More to come.
