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Local producer Cooper Campese, who claims to have invented the EDM sub-genre ‘Goose Step’ on his Instagram bio, has today handed himself his own resignation letter after admitting that he never actually got around to writing any songs.
The 20 year-old, who goes by the name DJ Scratchin’ Tendulker, says that the decision came whilst he was sitting at home, avoiding another family get-together. “I guess I just got tired of the awkward conversations when my Auntys and Uncles would ask me what I’m doing with myself” Cooper sighed.
“For a long time I just got frustrated, I thought that they didn’t get it, couldn’t think outside the box, but after 3 years of them asking to hear something, I realised I’d forgotten to write any songs”.
Coopers uncle, Karlos Campese, said that he’s glad his nephew has “snapped out of it”.
“Look, the kid was always a bit funny” said Karl.
“We’d seen his room with all the gadgets and whatnot, but we never bloody heard a thing. it was all a creepy to be honest”
“Yeah turns out a decent song is pretty important in the whole music thing” said Cooper “I mean I had the rest. I did a few audio production courses, I’d collected heaps of good gear, programs, plug-ins and that. Hopefully I can sell most of it off”.
Cooper is looking forward to the next chapter of his life, which includes moving out of his parent’s place and finding a new way of making good on his promise to buy them a mansion.