ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local property developer’s offsider has laughed off suggestion he should be behind the wheel of a ute that’s easier for him to get in and out of and see over the dashboard.
Betoota Heights man Nathan Alize from luxury apartment builder, Bespoke Dogbox Constructions, said he can drive any car he wants because that’s how it works in reality.
Tall enough to see eye-to-eye with The Advocate editor Clancy Overell’s nipples, our reporter suggested to the 32-year-old glorified personal assistant that it’d be better and more comfortable for him to be driving a Proton Jumbuck.
Known for being about as safe as a motorbike, the Pronton Jumbuck (or ‘Malaysian Billycart’ in paying homage to it’s home country) quickly became popular with Australians all over the country for its nimble handling (taken F1 team Lotus) and it’s ability to carry impressive amounts of weight for it’s size.
By today’s standards, the Malaysian Billycart is quite petite. Much like Mr Alize, who stands at 5 foot 5 in a pair of platform side-sip Mongrel boots.
“Fuck off,” he said.
“Better than driving that piece of shit you drive, c-word.”
Mr Alize is referring to the dog dick red 1995 Toyota Corolla wagon that our reporter is currently owns. Our reporter lost the 2010 Lexus RX 350 they used to own during the divorce because the Family Courts are bias and the judge knew how much our reporter enjoyed the quiet luxury that Lexus offers its discerning owners so they took it away.
Mr Alize refused to entertain the idea that the Jumbuck would be better on fuel and offer the added security of a canopy cover.
“I don’t keep anything in the tray as it is, you fucking idiot, mate,” he said.
“I’m off the tools now.”
More to come.
