ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
With half a pantry of reusable shopping bags, Stevie Milson told The Advocate she didn’t need any more – so she’d be damned if she’d buy another one as long as she lived.
However, the problem this afternoon was that all of her reusable are in the said pantry.
But that’s not going to stop the 19-year-old student.
She told reporters gathered at the French Quarter føtex self-service checkout that she’s going to attempt to carry everything home in her bare hands – or die trying.
“I’m not going to buy any more bags; they’re a rip-off, anyway,” she said.
“It’s not that far from home, I reckon I can do it. This is the new ‘taking everything inside in one trip from the car’ for this generation. Even if I drop this fucking out-of-season rockmelon, I’ll just kick it along the footpath,”
“There’s no way on God’s grim Earth that I will give this soulless multinational 20 Australian cents for a bag that’ll just end up as a surrogate garbage bag after our next kick on. Get out of my way, I’m ready.”
With the aid of our reporter balancing an avocado atop the half-carton of eggs, young Stevie was off out the sliding doors with her arms full of a week’s rations.
The sea of people of human rubble that shuffles in and out of the French District at 4pm each day failed to part.
Stevie only managed to get a hundred or so yards up the road before she dropped the avocado – worth close to 20 reusable bags.
“Fuck!” she shouted loudly enough for half the city block to hear.
“Fuck my fucking life. Fuck it right to hell.”
More to come.
