ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A sound of noxious gas escaping from cardigan-wrapped sentient nappy bin has been transcribed and mistakenly published in The Australian this week.
Editors from the nation’s largest journalistic money pit are now investigating how that sound was converted into inch upon inch of newsprint dedicated to justifying the wholesale killing of dozens of adults and children in Lebanon under the moral justification that they, including the children, were terrorists.
News Corp has confirmed to The Advocate, via our crosstown rival The Betoota Bugle, that it’s understood the noise the gas made as it escaped from the nappy bin was mistaken for the opinion of The Australian’s foreign editor, Greg Sheridan.
The mistake was made, according to The Bugle’s chief-of-staff Bernard McLeod, because the nappy bin was wearing a cardigan.
McLeod was not able to answer the question of why a sentient nappy bin is in The Australian’s newsroom in the first place.
Nevertheless, Sheridan is often seen wandering the halls of The Australian wearing a cardigan and slippers. To pursue editorial nirvana, Sheridan must be comfortable. McLeod recounted a story that one leading reporter from The Australian once remarked to Sheridan that it looked like he’d been clothes shopping at Matthew Talbot, a homeless men’s hostel in Sydney, to which Sheridan said he’d never shopped there but would check it out.
The Australian did not respond to our reporter’s queries regarding Sheridan’s article on Thursday. Though in previous correspondence between this masthead and the last national broadsheet did indicate that Sheridan’s opinion on this matter is arguably salient because he’s very old and self-identifies as a Christian. To have an opinion on a conflict that’s older than time itself is one thing, it’s another to gloat about the senseless killing of children with exploding radios is another.
Sherdian also indicated that he would not be lowering himself by replying to The Advocate’s 4400 word email put to him at 3pm because his time has value, unlike that of any ‘inbred hick’ in The Advocate’s newsroom.
More to come.
