ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A sage elder from our town’s vast Heights district has sighed heavily at the television this morning after a nice blonde woman told him young workers were getting something he’s not.
Anthony Ross, a 70-year-old retired large-animal veterinarian, was watching Wake Up Betoota on Channel 5 at about 9:45am today when news reader Annie Brown explained that HECS indexation was going to be overhauled, meaning millions of young workers just trying to get a head in this world would have a bit of money put back in their pocket come tax time.
“It’s bullshit,” he told our reporter.
“They should have to pay their debt back. All of it. I didn’t pay for some blue-haired teenager to study Star Wars at some glorified TAFE college like Diamantina Tech or whatever it’s called today,”
“It’s ridiculous.”
Mr Ross discussed his feelings wth The Advocate on the first tee down at Lake Betoota Links this morning. When asked why paid for his vet degree, Mr Ross’s eyes narrowed.
“Well, back in my day, Errol, you actually had to have a brain to get into university,” he said.
“These days, everyone gets a go. Even people with no brain. In my day, stupid people had to retread tyres or lick postage stamps at the post office. These days, they get sent to journalism school. People wonder why there’s a shortage of tradies. Because people who’d be swinging a hammer are now cooped up in some office with a smashing set of man tits hanging off their chest. Disgraceful is you ask me.”
Our reporter asked the question again.
“Nobody paid. It was for free because you had to earn the spot. It wasn’t given to you.”
Mr Ross rejected the suggestion that the taxpayer footed the bill for his education, most of which had to suffer the horrors of World War II, only to have their perverted children have sex out of wedlock (in various distasteful positions like reverse cowgirl and the “69”) like godless savages and pollute the airways with degenerate music made by limp-wristed communists like Bob Dylan and Bill Haley.
“The education was for free. What don’t you understand about that.”
Mr Ross then proceeded to slice his drive into the hazard.
“See what you made me do!”
More to come.
