ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Greens have told their major party colleagues that they won’t be joining in their jamboree with foreign-owned coal companies with leader Adam Bandt telling the media in Melbourne that he has a radical plan for compensating them should the price cap on coal and gas become law.
“Our plan is to not compensate them,” said Mr Bandt.
“I know. It’s a bit out there but just giving taxpayer money to some company that’s based overseas to suck the resources out of our ground and sell the back to us is pretty bad. Like, most of the people who want to bail them out aren’t even that affected by rising energy costs in the first place,”
“Why can’t we bail out people? Hear me out but we could perhaps shoulder some of the burden on the corporations, instead of like making energy so expensive that people just flat out don’t use it. Some of these companies were shaving their carrots in front of investors at their AGMs, saying that despite society slowly collapsing around us, they’ve managed to bank a two billion dollar profit. Here’s another idea, how about we cut their carrots off and shove them down their own throats and… Sorry, that’s not what we’re about,”
“I just get the red mist when these things are put before parliament.”
The Prime Minister told The Advocate that he supports The Greens’ view on this matter and that’s pretty much that.
“Well, I respect Adam and his team of young go-getters, for a start,” said Anthony Albanese to our reporter via wireless telephone today.
“Like, uh, any proceedure, in this, uh, place, uh, Parliament House. We need to make sure that, uh, well, um. Hold on, let me begin again. Obviously, we need The Greens to help us in the senate so we, are, uh, going to get started on the negotiations but, uh, yeah, Adam has, uh, certainly made it harder,”
“Which is great because I love debate and I love to fight Torries. You know, in, uh, places like Belfast, they even got to shoot Torries. Uh, actually, can you, uh, leave that last bit out. I have been listening to a lot of early U2 in isolate and, uh, they don’t like Torries much, either. They’re all Greenies now, that U2.”
More to come.
