ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A well-known French Quarter publican says he’s between a rock and a hard place at the moment because one of his locals has begun ordering food from the kid’s menu – saying he now identifies as a 10-year-old boy.
Jock Campbell, publican of the esteemed Gorille De Vomi Bar & Grill on Rue de Overell, said that popular local Morris Pearson has been ordering and eating the kid’s $5 chicken nuggets and chips when it should only be enjoyed by those under 12.
It’s a loophole he’s keen to close, as more and more grown men and women are beginning to cotton on to the ploy.
“What do I do? It’s not 1998 anymore, we’ve moved on from the halcyon days of casual and friendly homophobia and the like. Just go back and watch Friends. The writers should be ashamed of themselves,” said Campbell.
“It cheapens the genuine cases of identity dysmorphia, which does exist in our society. But who am I to make that judgment? I used to only have to worry about keeping the beer cold and the food tasty, now I’ve got a whole other crop of things to worry about,”
“Like offending Morris when I tell him to, ‘Go get a packet of chips from the vending machine if you’re hungry, nuggets are for children, you spoonhead!’ I can’t say that to him. I can’t say that to anybody.”
However, our reporters asked Jock what he does when the 10-year-old Morris comes to the bar and orders a refreshing lager or wanders into the pokie den to feed Pelican Pete.
As it turns out, he reverts back to his birth identity in some parts of the bar and elects to be 10-year-old in other areas.
The Advocate reached out to Morris for comment but said his parents don’t let him talk to strangers.
More to come.
