LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Beachgoers are warned to not enter the water in the vicinity of an unidentified man who has been spotted standing still amongst the rolling waves and is believed to definitely be pissing.
The suspected public urinator has been identified as a man with short hair, a medium build and a pair of orange board shorts that at present could be wet from his urine and possibly worn by him for the remainder of the day.
This potential behaviour comes only months after your cousin watched a documentary that tested the myth that sharks are attracted to urine in the water, meaning that this man’s probably behaviour could be putting other beachgoers at risk as well as being pretty yuck.
“Look at him. Standing there just looking about, like nothing is going on,” stated one disgruntled mother of four.
“That pervert ought to be ashamed of himself.”
Police are currently standing by and have stated they will take the man in for questioning if he leaves the beach without using the public restroom first.
More to come.
