BERNICE TWISP | Social Media | Contact
Dennis Gregory, of Betoota Grove, told The Advocate this afternoon that despite appearances, there are times when he feels like Sisyphus.
But the boulder he pushes up the hill of life is smaller, by his own admission, that nearly everybody else in town.
According to modern standards, he’s genetically gifted.
His strong frame, topped a cool blonde faux-hawk are only the start of a long list of birth-privileges that make not caring at all about politics possible.
“I ask Dad who I should vote for on like the day and then I go do it because I don’t want to get fined,” he giggled from a plush living room couch within the second living room of his parent’s 6-bedroom home.
“All they do is just shout and scream at each other, they don’t even get anything done. It’s just so boring and self-absorbed. Um, how about you actually do something?”
“So yeah, I’m not really into politics. I love to travel, though. Golf is also fun. Me and my friends from Whooton [a publically-funded local private school] play golf three times a week. But when Jon plays with us on Sunday, we have to play on the public course, which is way easier.”
Dennis’ blase attitude toward the politic discourse has drawn the ire of one former employee at the Royal Betoota Golf Club.
Whisper Nightpony, who was not placed in the same manger of life Dennis was, worked at the exclusive golf club for a number of years and told our reporter what she thinks of the full-time-stay-at-home-son.
“I think he’s a cunt,” she said.
“This one time I remember, he ordered five Long Island Ice Teas, which are a pain in the arse to make and I had to run down the cellar to get more dark rum. When I got back and made them, I jokingly said how hard they were to make properly,”
“Then he said, ‘Try maintaining a handicap of 23 with a set of hire clubs, baby,’ and then frisbeed his Amex card. So I did what any other normal person did. I snapped it in half then walked out.”
More to come.
