ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Liberal Party insiders are fearing a brain drain is underway as both Christian Porter and Greg Hunt deciding in recent weeks to pull the pin at the next election and slip seamlessly back into private life.
One large problem loops that of who is going to replace the former Attorney-General in his Perth seat.
While the replacement of Hunt is relatively straightforward as the Victorian Liberal Party has a clear set of rules as to who gets to represent them on a federal level, the WA branch does not.
Greg Hunt is set to be replaced by someone who also appears to own a collection of raincoats made from frog skins.
Analysts have told The Advocate that the Liberals need a strong replacement for Porter in order for the party to hold onto the seat.
“Someone like his mate’s nephew or parachuting some barge-arsed Peppy Grove solicitor who’s the son of some cunt,” they said.
“Putting someone like a woman in there would work, I guess if they were cut from granite like Julie Bishop. Having a regular woman in there, I’m not too sure,”
“Either way, if it’s a bloke, he needs to be privately educated and needs to have gone to an exclusive college. He needs to have a forehead the size of a frisbee and nipples the size of pikelets. He needs to know how to set a table and how to talk to people who have no education and smear poo on the walls as they watch The Block or My Kitchen Needs A Renovated Husband or whatever the show’s called these days,”
“That’s who they need.”
The Advocate reached out to The Office of the Prime Minister for comment but received yet another couriered package of loose blue asbestos shards in reply.
More to come.
