Orange Slice Found To Be The Foot Fetish Of The Biscuit World

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

In some unsurprising news, it has now been confirmed that liking orange creams is the biscuit equivalent of having a foot fetish, which though has started to become more socially acceptable, is viewed with most suspicion and judgement.

Speaking to sociology student, Gwen Miller, who’s currently studying a PHD the Betoota Polytechnic University, The Advocate learns more about the deeper meanings behind biscuit preferences.

“It’s a bit crass, but I would say having a preference for Monte’s Carlos is the boob equivalent”, says the researcher, “it’s a bit of an obvious pick, you know?”

“Kingstons would be butts.”

“I’m not quite sure what the male equivalent of this would be? Biceps? Traps?”

“But anyway, orange creams are definitely for people who like feet.”

Musing that she’s not sure where shortbread lovers would lie on the spectrum, Miller admits she doesn’t really understand why she gets funding to do these sorts of things.

“Must be a slow news day, huh?”

More to come.