ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local kangaroo has reportedly made the bold decision to investigate a speeding orb of light cutting through a paddock adjacent to the Diamantina Development Road late last night.
The kangaroo, known to locals as “Brett,” had been casually grazing by the roadside when the headlights of an approaching Camry sparked his curiosity. Despite having the whole paddock to roam, Brett felt an overwhelming urge to investigate the glowing blur barreling down the highway at 118 km/h.
“He was minding his own business, then out of nowhere, he just had to see what that light was all about,” said the driver, 43-year-old Dave, still rattled by the encounter.
“I had my high beams on for ages, plenty of time for him to hop away, I even gave him a few curtesy beeps, but nah, he made a beeline for me like it was the most important thing he’d ever seen.”
Wildlife experts suggest kangaroos may suffer from a deep-seated fascination with fast-moving objects, paired with an utter disregard for basic road safety.
“It’s almost like they think, ‘Well, if it’s going that fast, it’s probably worth jumping in front of,'” explained one kangaroo behaviour specialist.
Brett managed to leap away unharmed after his ill-advised investigation, though Dave’s front wing and left headlight now tells a different story.
“I’m up for the excess, it’s fucken near $2000,” said Dave.
“And the roo just got up and hopped away. If it was a wombat, at least it would’ve written the thing off!”
More to come.
