ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As the Big Bash dribbles on and the tennis ends in a predictable pop, one local man has called time on his TV viewing for another year.
The move comes as reality television returns to screens around the nation, something that Harris Goblin takes mild offence to.
“Honestly, I wanted to give that marry me right now show or whatever it is but the shorts for it paint a grim picture,” said the 29-year-old.
“Don’t get me started on the other shit. Those celebrity jungle shows and the cooking ones. Spare me. I’d rather get punched in the forehead every morning by Anthony Joshua bare fist than watch Scott Cam mumble his way through another opening segment,”
“So I’m packing the TV until the cricket starts again at the end of the year. It’s been real.”
But when asked what he plans to do about the winter sports, the league and footy, the Betoota Heights resident explained that he’d frequent one of the many licensed premises around his home.
Goblin, a full-time city worker, explained to The Advocate that on a game day, the group chat is already in full swing by lunchtime and venue is locked in before knockoff.
“I could save money by watching sport at home but honestly, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind,” he said.
“They’ve got the HD dish TV here, no ads, the barman turns it up for us and lets us get up to no good until the games over,”
“That’s living. If I were a richer man, I’d do what Elvis done and put a bullet through the bloody TV but I’ve only got my .338 Lapua at home and they’re nearly $8 a shot now. Yeah, yeah, I should reload but not all of us have the time.”
More to come.
