INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact
French Quarter woman Grace Willoughby remains skeptical that the sudden spike in temperature is reason enough for her boyfriend, Jake Callaghan, to abandon their afternoon plans and spend the better part of the day down at the Froggatt Arms on Rue de Branlette.
According to witnesses at the scene, Jake began preparing his case early this morning, pointing out how blue the sky looked as soon as he pulled the curtains open. By 11 AM, he was dropping ominous comments about the risk of heatstroke if they dared tackle the ‘boring’ errands Grace had scheduled.
“I thought he was just being dramatic when he said we couldn’t go to see my new baby nephew because it’s a ‘beautiful Friday and the boys are all heading to the pub this afternoon’,'” said Grace, who’d penciled this into their shared Google Calendar on Monday.
But by midday, Jake’s excuse machine was in full swing.
“There’s a gentle southerly coming up from the Bight. It’s 27 out there but 25 in the shade. Little Hickey, Big Willie, B-Mad, Jimborine, Party Arty, Big Hickey and Sexy Matt are all heading to the Froggy after work. I haven’t see them in ages.” Jake reportedly said.
“Just a couple of hours. I’ll be back in time to do whatever dumb shit you had planned. Promise.”
Grace, however, was unimpressed.
“I know exactly what’s going to happen,” she told friends during an emergency FaceTime conference.
“He’ll tell me it’s just have a couple, and then next thing I know, he’ll be standing at the end of the bed at 4:45am talking to himself about being home before the sun comes up.”
Locals have confirmed Jake was last seen heading pacing toward the pub from the Green Street trolleybus station in his Tarocash three-piece, his wallet chain gently lapping against his buttocks. He’s texting the group chat to see if “the boys were thirsty.”
Meanwhile, Grace has resigned herself to a solo trip to see her new nephew ‘Cashew’, muttering under her breath about “how much of a cliché he’s become.”
At press time, Jake was spotted ordering his second solo phone jug, waiting for the boys to arrive.
More to come.
