CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Just in case there ever was any doubt, a poorly graffed tag on the foreshore of a city beach has made it clear today who owns a certain little chunk of land.
The graffiti plastered on by some marginally employed youth last night has overturned the long-held legal doctrine that it isn’t legally possible for anyone to actually own the area of land immediately adjacent to the ocean, or the ocean itself.
The tags proclaim that the beach is only for a certain few million residents of the state and country.
It is being reported that the young testosterone fuelled men who tagged the beach wall did so because they feel a strong connection to the break, built up through nearly two whole generations of surfing.
The once moderately rough suburb has, in fact, become a relatively high socioeconomic suburb as a result of skyrocketing prices due to the ‘locals only’ surfing rule.
One local youth who refused to give his full name to our reporter told The Advocate that people don’t wanna find out what the punishment for breaking the new law is.
“Deadset brah, I mean technically yeah, the locals only rule actually allows like 5 million people to surf the break, but I can tell ya brah, you don’t wanna test the legalities of the case in the court of the Beach Boys [the name of the group local surfers] alright,” he said with his wetsuit draped around his waist.
“You gotta be born into this suburb because your working-class parents were lucky enough to buy here decades ago, or have the coin to be able to buy a gnarly two million dollar three bedder within a ‘k’ from the beach,” the young man said.
“Or a hot girl, sorry I forgot that notable exception. Hot gurfers are definitely allowed,” he laughed
“Anyway gotta go now, boys are heading out for the arvo.”
