ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A lost man wondering through Mecca’s flagship store inside the Betoota Lakes Westfield this afternoon was singled out by staff after triggering their suspicions that he either knew too much or too little to be left to his own devices.
John Patterson, 48, who had originally entered the store to find a birthday present for his wife, was quickly spotted by sharp-eyed employees as he wandered aimlessly through aisles filled with glittering palettes, glowing serums, and a large array of fragrances. His bemusement was palpable.
“I saw him looking at the foundation shades like he was trying to decipher the Enigma code,” said Emma, a Mecca beauty advisor.
“At first, we thought he might be a drag queen. But then he picked up a $400 LED mask and shook his head in disbelief.”
When asked if he needed help, John’s response—”I’m just looking for something nice for my wife”—was met with stunned silence. The staff immediately realised he was in over his head.
“You mean, you’re not here for yourself?” another staff member inquired, still half-expecting a fabulous wig to emerge from his shopping bag. When John confirmed that he was, in fact, a man shopping for his wife, the store’s atmosphere shifted.
In a moment of what can only be described as retail heroism, the staff sprang into action. They took John around the shop in some sort of guided tour, usually reserved for the rarest of Beauty Loop members—those who have transcended Level 4 and ascended to the near-mythical Level 5, where no ordinary person has tread.
“We don’t really talk about Level 5,” whispered one employee. “It’s kind of like the beauty industry’s Illuminati. It’s harder to crack than the Qantas Chairman’s Lounge. Officially, it doesn’t even exist.”
John was showered with attention, offered exclusive samples of products not even available to the public.
“Hold on, I actually have a list,” John said, bewildered.
“I need half a dozen Go-To masks. Some Bare Minerals tinted moisturiser. Hourglass mascara, make sure it’s the tube one. If it’s not the tube one, you might as well draw it on with a Sharpie. I need some Westman Atelier sticks, whatever the fuck they are. Oh, and Emma Lewisham anything, you decide. Plus anything else you think is good,”
“Oh, and can you put this all on my wife’s account? I mean, I’ll pay for it but she’s knocking on the door of being Level 4 herself and this should push her over the threshold.”
The staff gave John a knowing nod and asked for her number. John looked off into space for a second then got his phone out to double check he knew it properly.
More to come.
