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The tired and weary leader of the Victorian Liberals has today realised he might have a bit more work cut out from him than he initially thought.

This comes as the poor, poor man that has inherited the roaring binfire known as the Victorian Opposition returns to the party room this afternoon from a defamation trial launched against him by a former colleague – that he suspended from the party for attending an anti-trans rally with Nazis in the middle of Melbourne’s CBD.

Ousted Liberal MP Moira Deeming is suing Mr Pesutto for defamation over allegations that he wrongly linked her with neo-Nazis, after she attended the anti-trans rally that had Nazis at it.

As the closest thing that the Victorian Liberals have to a ‘moderate’ since Josh Frydenberg lost his Federal seat to the Teal wave, John Pesutto had previously held the state division of Hawthorne from 2014 until he was voted out during the 2018 ‘Danslide’.

However, for Lord knows what reason, the 52-year-old decided to re-enter state politics and win his seat back in the November 2022 election.

Pesutto once again found himself back in Parliament, now as leader, only to realise that the party had descended into full blown far-right IPA-fuelled conspiracy theorists.

The fact that he thinks chemtrails are not real makes him unpopular in a party-room full of deeply twisted rich kids who are fucked in the brain from having to experience mild inconveniences to their very privileged lives during the pandemic.

Let alone the fact that he thinks homosexuals and women should be allowed to vote.

As he entered the party-room from a needlessly tiring day at court, Pesutto was ready for a cold glass of James Boags and maybe a chin wag with some of the innocent Nationals MP who aren’t across this whole trans debate because they don’t know what transgender means.

Instead, he was met with multiple white boards covered in permanent marker.

It seems that today the top of the political agenda was whether or not the 1942 Darwin Bombings were a false flag operation staged by ASIO and MI5..

“Think about it” said one inner-city Liberal MP with man-boobs.

“Nobody knew it was happening at the time. Why isn’t there more footage of it?”

“Makes you think”

John Pesutto sighs.

“Fuck” he mutters.

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