ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A hidden detail in the Coalition’s agreement to reach net-zero by 2050 has become apparent this morning as Scott Morrison turned up for his first day of acting as Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce’s human coffee table.
As per the agreement between the Liberal Party and the Nationals, the Prime Minister must get down on all fours in Barnaby’s office and have heavy books, hot drinks and floral arrangements placed on his back.
The Advocate spoke briefly to Mr Joyce about the new arrangement, which he says will create jobs.
“Just look over here,” said Mr Joyce as he was FaceTiming with our reporter today after little lunch.
“I’ve created a new job for Scott Morrison. He has to remain completely silent and I’m even allowed to sit on the couch and put my boots up on his back. It’s all part of the new agreement we have made, as a Coalition, to reach net-zero emissions by 2050,”
“Sometimes he groans when I drop a dictionary or something on his back. He better watch it because if he reneges on his part of the bargain, I’m not scared to end this Coalition,”
“Guess who does care? My fucking coffee table. Don’t you?”
The coffee table spoke.
“Shut up! You’re not allowed to speak!”
More to come.
